Tarot Readings: How To Ask Your Question

One of the things I’ve learned since I’ve been offering tarot card readings is that people often have difficulty wording the questions they want answered. They frequently have a very general idea, but sometimes they need a little help in putting their thoughts into words. I find that tarot can be very useful when you need to make an important decision, but need some help finding the best direction to take. However, some people just want some general guidance about a certain area of their life, such as their career, love-life, etc.

SignpostBecause I’ve been asked so many times for help putting together a question, I realized that I hadn’t provided enough guidance on my website about how to do it. I’ve now hopefully fixed that by providing a How to Ask Your Question page.

On that page, I’ve also added that instead of asking a specific question, I’ll also do readings “on a theme,” for those who want more general guidance on one area of their life. Tarot is an effective tool for me to use for certain types of questions, and not so effective in other cases, and I’ve outlined that too.

Of course, as always, if you ever have difficulty with this process, I’ll be happy to help you. Just drop me an e-mail at tarotbygraham@gmail.com.

 

(Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

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You Are “The One”

As I write this, it’s about a week before Valentine’s Day, and many people are thinking about love right now. Those with partners may be planning something they could do for their special someone to celebrate – maybe take them out for a meal, buy a gift, etc. But those without a partner may be, quite frankly, sick of the whole thing, as Valentine’s Day seems to just be there to rub their noses in the fact that they are single and would rather not be.

L'Amoureux

Detail from L’Amoureux from the Jean Noblet Tarot de Marseille

It will probably be no surprise to you that quite a large number of people who come to me for tarot card readings want to know about matters of the heart. They may want to know whether they will find love soon, or if the person they are currently with is “The One.” When I do a reading for someone, I’m reading them – I can’t really predict random things from some random place in the universe, or tell you about someone you nor I have ever met. Unless there’s something you can do to influence the situation, I probably can’t help you. What I can do, however, is help put you in a better position to find that person, or help you see whether you’ve found “The One.”

A very good friend of mine recently shared an article about relationships on Facebook, and it prompted a very interesting discussion. Like many people – indeed many people who were involved in that discussion – my friend has become disillusioned with dating, especially online dating, following a disappointing run of bad dates, no-shows, etc. She has decided that she’s “retiring” from that scene. I don’t blame her – in fact, I think that’s the best thing she can do right now. She’s an amazing woman and one day, the right person will realize that.

A couple of comments in the discussion really resonated with me. One woman talked about how she had heard many stories of women who had stopped looking for “The One” and decided to focus on themselves and their own happiness and suddenly found themselves in love. What she said next was really profound, and I use her exact words here (with permission) since I couldn’t put it better myself:

Sometimes, I just think we try too hard to find The One, forgetting that really, WE ourselves are The One.

The reason these words resonated with me was that they completely echoed my own experience. I wasted way too many years “looking for love in all the wrong places.” I spent time in bars, clubs, trying to date women at work, etc., and while I had some dates and even some short relationships, they were not satisfying. When I say “wasted” perhaps that’s a poor choice of word, because I always try to stress that there’s no such thing as a bad experience, it’s just experience and it goes to shape the person you are today.

It was only when I decided to stop the nonsense and concentrate on me that things happened. Almost magically. Once you start working on you, on your personal growth, you pretty much are guaranteed to become a more interesting person. And interesting people are very attractive!

In my case, I was fortunate to stumble upon someone who was in almost exactly the same phase at the same point in life as I was. And this March, we’ll be celebrating 16 years of marriage.

The Death Card – Will I Die?

One night, I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. – Steven Wright

I love Steven Wright, but I always cringe just a little when someone repeats his joke on Twitter – and it happens a lot! It plays into the hands (excuse the pun) of those who are a little afraid of tarot cards. As I have been known to say: There’s nothing magic about tarot cards; they are simply paper, paste, and some pretty pictures in ink. The magic is in our heads.

La Mort - DeathA little while back, a potential client was enquiring about a reading, and made a bit of a joke about avoiding the “Death” card, because (and I’m paraphrasing here) while he knew that having the “Death” card come up in a reading didn’t always actually mean death, presumably it could mean death, right?

The way that my readings work is to give you information to empower you. My aim is always to enable you to write your own story. This means that really the only way that the card we call “Death” would represent physical death is if you were engaged in risky behavior that might lead to your demise if you didn’t do something about it. I would assume you’d want to know about that! The truth is that this card, depending on the context, can have many meanings. Sometimes it means making a “clean sweep” and discarding something from the past and moving on into the future. Sometimes it can mean divesting yourself of toxic “friends.” Just the other day, I had “Death” come up at the conclusion of a reading about a relationship; knowing that it would worry the client, I pointed out that in this context, my interpretation was that if something did not change, the likely result would be that the relationship would end. I was delighted when my client got back to me and said they had already done something about it, and the situation was much better.

So, my recommendation would be to stop seeing the “Death” card as a “bad card” and maybe start seeing it as a wake-up call or a card of opportunity.

How Can a Tarot Reading Be “Empowering?”

Directly underneath my website’s title “Tarot Readings by Graham,” I make the following bold statement:

“No-Nonsense, EMPOWERING Tarot Card Readings”

Empowering

I have discussed the “No-Nonsense” part of this statement elsewhere within my “Musings” section. But how about the “EMPOWERING” part? Can a tarot reading be empowering? If you are a believer in fate, then a tarot reading will surely just predict what’s going to happen, right?

Well I for one do not believe in a fate that’s set in stone. I do believe that some things are meant to be, for sure; but I think that for the most part we can shape our own fate. Which is a very good thing – life would be very boring if everything was completely mapped out for us.

One way that tarot can help with the future is by showing you what is likely to be the result if you continue to take the path you are currently on. That way, if you don’t like where you’re headed, you can do something about it.

When you come to me with a question, no matter how “fuzzy” the concept is, I will always try to phrase it in the form “What’s the best way for (your name goes here!) to achieve (insert goal here)?” or similar. No beating around the bush with vagueries. By asking questions in this direct way, what I will come up with during our reading is something that you can actually do.

And that is empowering!

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